Critical Thinking

Criticism.  It stings.  Like a jellyfish, like a shot, like a cracked whip.

I ran across an old professor's blog today, and in a very recent entry, he mentioned an incident that occured between the two of us years and years ago.  This incident stemmed from a combination of my lack of preparedness for his class, and my immaturity in how I spoke to him.  His comments were not unfair~he and I saw the incident slightly differently, but he was not unfair~and it hit me hard, as his comments had to do with how I deal with balance, and being overwhelmed.

His timing is bad, because I'm frankly feeling quite unbalanced and overwhelmed at the moment, planning four mission trips for a total of 62 people, set to depart next week.  We have a separate group of people leaving a month later, and tomorrow I am taking 47 middle schoolers on a fasting retreat.

I'm not much of a believer in coincidence.  Lately, I feel my confidence being attacked daily, and this is just one more in a series of hearing other's slightly unfavorable opinions of me.  So I must ask myself, from where do I get my sense of self ?  Does it come from this professor?  Obviously, and truthfully, it does not.  Does it come from an opinionated colleague?  I know with confidence that it does not.  Parents of kids?  My friends, even my family?  My boss?

What is the Lord trying to teach me?  Maturity, for one.  It took all of my self control not to answer this professor smarmily and smugly.  But the original incident stemmed from my so-called smart mouth.  If I didn't learn from it, it was just a bad day and an ugly memory.  But I hope I can glean something from that day, in this day.

More importantly, though, I believe that He is teaching me that this man's opinion does not control me, define me, or mark me.  He is my marker, my judge, and the big eraser of all of my mistakes and short-comings.  Because my professor was right that day: I'm not good enough.  I'm just not.  At anything, really.  I can make really good cookies, but I suspect that God makes better ones.  I need someone to save me.  I need someone to love me.

THANK GOD, I have just that.

Natural Habitat

O little town of Oamaru.

That's where I am today.  And yesterday.  It was just supposed to be a stop on the way to Christchurch.

Here's the amazing thing about this trip we've been on:  all these places that we just "happen" upon are places that fill me with great delight.  It is easy to think of this country as Narnia, or Middle Earth~things just seem possible here that shouldn't be possible in any world in which I live.

After we arrived in this hostel in a small nothing town on the southern island of New Zealand, the sweet proprietoress, Kelly, showed us on a map where we could find something called The Elephant Rocks, which were in a part of The Chronicles of Narnia.  They were part of a privately owned sheep farm, and the farmer just--get this--LETS people walk right onto his property to see these amazing things.  No charge.  Just a sign that says don't disturb the sheep.  So we played on the rocks for a while, avoiding sheep poop, and trying to climb these huge, smooth boulders that looked for all the world like Aslan should pop up on top of one and roar.

After that, we drove back into town to go to Bushy Beach, where we stood on cliffs and looked at the beach below, searching for penguins and seals.  We saw both...two baby yellow eyed penguins, and what I think was their mother...they were far away from each other, and I think that they were lost...they would call back and forth in this pitiful little cries.  I hope that they found each other.

Then we climbed further down the cliff to where we thought we might see seals...which we did.  We saw one so far away that at first we thought it was just a rock, until we saw it moving.  Then a French man directed us to one that was seriously just feet from us.  Dan observed that it looked like a giant rat, which was accurate, but perhaps took a teensy bit of the magic from the moment :)  The greatest part of this part of the day was:

French man:  It is just over there!

Me:  Thanks!  Where are you from?

French man:  Can't you tell from my wonderful accent??

Me:  France?

French man:  Bonne (something in French)!!!!! (Hearty handshake)

And I got to thinking about natural habitats.  About living in the wild.  About how this earth is my home as much as the seals, and the penguins, and the French man.  And about how I am so privileged to see bits and pieces of it that reveal new things about God.  About how He thinks of things like rocks that look like Elephants, that are so huge and beautiful that they remind one of Him.  About how He created the colors blue and green, and combines them so often in ways that are too alive for words.  Grass and sky.  Canyons full of trees with aqua rivers winding along the bottom.  Coral reefs within an ocean of blue, dotted with green pools.  And in the midst of all of this--me.

I live a blessed life.

New Zealand

hullo, everybody.  I'm in New Zealand, and will soon be telling you tales from the road.  Until then,

The Shire is lovely, and there are sheep literally everwhere.

Peace out,

Virginia

'Tis the season

I think that this is a really absurdly cool thing:

www.kiva.org

Go check it out.

I had such a good day today, with the only blemish being a slight blecch-y feeling from all of the junk food I consumed during a India mission trip team meeting.  I made Chai at my house and we had a truly awesome bonding time.  We talked about orphans.  Have you ever really talked with an orphan?  Or held one, or played with one?

I'd like to say that it's changed my life.  But what I really has changed my life is talking with my kids about the orphans.  It is pretty amazing to watch people respond with compassion to others.  And when those people are teenagers--of whom our society is usually suspicious--wow.

Then MinSoo and I talked about 9/11 for a long time, while Deep and Lucy sat in front of the Christmas tree and heatedly discussed school issues.  My kids blow me away on a daily basis.  I love seeing their perspective.  Maybe in general I just like seeing perspectives that aren't mine.  Diversity is a beautiful thing.  Deep is Indian.  Lucy grew up in China.  MinSoo grew up in NYC.  Talk about converging ideas.  I feel like my life is a mini-U.N., and I am Kofi Annan. 

Maybe not Kofi Annan.

Peace.

I'm Lovin' It.

Not McDonalds, friends.  The thing that I'm Lovin' is...my job.  Working with teenagers is pretty much where it's at for me.

Today is the big six year anniversary of the big move to S. Korea.  I barely know any more of the language, and the country is still a big fat mystery to me, most of the time.  I've lived out here, loved out here, cried, laughed, bought a car, ran a marathon, had three jobs, traveled to Europe, and most importantly, known in my heart of hearts: living out here is the right choice for me.

Good times.